Quick Answer
When a person experiencing dementia says “I want to go home,” they rarely mean an address. More often, they mean “I don’t feel safe or settled right now.” The request can come at any stage and often peaks in the late afternoon. Reassurance helps more than correction.
You may have pointed at the photos, the dog, the chair they picked out in 1987. But it didn’t help, and the evening got harder. If these instances are becoming more frequent, it may be time to explore memory care.
This article explains this common behavior in people diagnosed with dementia, what to say, and how memory care is built around that experience.
Contact The Kensington Redondo Beach and connect with our team to learn what the right level of memory care could look like for your loved one.
What “Home” Means to Someone Experiencing Dementia
For someone diagnosed with dementia, “home” usually means a feeling, not a place. It means feeling safe, known, and in charge of the day.
Sometimes it’s tied to a childhood house or the years when their own children were small.
Short-term memory loss makes the present hard to hold on to. So the mind reaches for a time that still feels solid.
That’s why your loved one may repeat “I want to go home,” while in a house they’ve owned for decades. The rooms are there, but the feeling isn’t.
Team members in our dementia care community hear the phrase every day. They treat it as information, as the resident communicating their needs to them.
Why This Common Dementia Behavior Often Comes in the Late Afternoon
Longings for home often peak in the late afternoon. Sundowning brings increased confusion and restlessness as daylight fades. This is when tiredness sets in, and routines wind down.
Unmet needs can be the real source of discomfort. Repeating, “I want to go home,” may be their way of trying to communicate that to you.
They could be signaling discomfort due to:
- Hunger or thirst
- Needing to use the bathroom
- Chronic pain
- A loud or noisy room
- Boredom
- Infection
- New medications
If this becomes a common occurrence, a full medical evaluation should be completed.
When Asking for Home Turns into Wandering
Wanting to go home becomes a safety issue when your loved one acts on it.
The Alzheimer’s Association lists trying to get home while already at home as a warning sign for wandering.
Watch for shoes by the door, a packed bag, or pacing near the exit. Keep keys and coats out of sight. A door chime can help too.
If your loved one lives alone, the evening hours are the ones to plan around first.
What to Say When a Loved One Says “I Want to Go Home”
The most useful response is to agree with the feeling and stay there. Correcting the facts is rarely productive when interacting with people experiencing dementia.
Responses That Help
- “Tell me about home.” Then listen, and ask about the porch or the kitchen
- “You’re safe here with me.” Say it sitting down, at eye level
- “We’ll go soon. Let’s have some tea first.” Then move toward something warm
- A hand on the arm, if your loved one welcomes touch
- A change of scene: a window, a walk down the hall, a favorite song
Responses That Could Further Agitate
- “You are home.” It turns a request for comfort into an argument
- “We sold that house years ago.” That can feel like a fresh loss
- Long explanations of any kind
- Matching their volume
A set evening routine can help soothe people who are experiencing dementia or agitation due to dementia.
Read more about what to do if your spouse is experiencing memory loss.
Wanting to Go Home After a Move to Memory Care
Hearing “I want to go home” after a move doesn’t mean the decision was wrong.
Families often describe a mix of feelings during visits when this happens. Relief that their loved ones’ days are safer, and a pull to take back their decision.
Try to visit during your loved one’s steadiest times, and bring a familiar object. Tell team members what “home” means to them: the cookie recipe, the dog’s name, the radio station.
Personal details about your loved one help us connect and provide the best care possible.
How The Kensington Redondo Beach Builds the Feeling of Home
The Kensington Redondo Beach intentionally builds a sense of home into its three memory care neighborhoods.
- The Kensington Club supports assisted living residents experiencing mild cognitive changes.
- Connections serves residents experiencing early- to mid-stage memory loss
- Haven serves residents experiencing mid- to later-stage memory loss
Our neighborhoods provide a comforting environment with residents, providing the best of familiarity and care, including:
- The smell of food cooking in the kitchen with family in the dining room
- Music and pets in the neighborhood
- Memory boxes and painted doors that help residents find their own suite
- Secured outdoor terraces residents can reach on their own
- Wander management technology for safe, free movement
- 24/7 on-site nursing
Life Enrichment programming fills the late afternoon, when restlessness tends to rise. Whether it’s cooking or making music, our activities coordinator helps residents feel at home with their favorite activities.
Find Dementia Care at The Kensington Redondo Beach
“I want to go home” is often a request for comfort by your loved one diagnosed with dementia. And comfort is something you can offer tonight. You don’t have to get the words perfect. Sit with them, lower your voice, and just be there to make them feel safe.
If the evenings have gotten too hard caring for your loved one with dementia, our team can help.
Contact The Kensington Redondo Beach to schedule a private tour of Connections and Haven and learn more about how our community makes it feel like home for our residents.
FAQ: When a Loved One Experiencing Dementia Says, “I Want To Go Home.”
“I want to go home” often points to a feeling, not a place. Your loved one is asking to feel safe and settled, and the house no longer supplies that on its own.
Usually not, if the truth will only upset them. Agreeing with their feelings and redirecting their attention to something familiar keeps the evening calmer for you both.
Not by itself, since the request can appear at any stage. A sudden increase does deserve a doctor’s visit to rule out pain, infection, or a medication issue.
Often the request continues at first and settles as routines take hold. Team members at The Kensington Redondo Beach learn what home means to each resident and do their best to keep them comfortable.
Late afternoon and early evening, when sundowning raises confusion and fatigue. Planning a calm, familiar activity for that window can keep those feelings from taking over.